Dododex
ARK: Survival Evolved & Ascended Companion
Funny Tips
What are some funny jokes or stories about the megalosaurus? Funny megalosaurus jokes submitted by ARK players.
So yea I was in the cliffs enjoying the peaceful views and watching my ankly to be tame. The night settled in so as standard standing torch was at the ready. All of a sudden I hear my argentavis screeching turns round to see this son of a bitch holding the bird in its mouth and shaking me to my core. As always I tried to remain calm when ark is just arking with you. Equipped my sword light disappears and I'm frantically slashing and hacking one of these buggers. Eventually the beast drops my bird has a slither of health and a sabertooth bitch slaps my argy. R.I.P sir flattery
My taming attempts
Attempt #1
Me: *enters middle chamber cave*
Me: *finds a megalosaurus*
Me: *knocks out megalosaurus*
Random Araneo: ALRIGHT CMERE
Random Onyc: DIEEE
Me: *kills araneo and onyc*
My Thirst Bar: Im boutta end this man’s whole career
Me: *dies from thirst*
Megalosaurus: *gets up*
Attempt #2
Me: *sees 4 sleeping megalosaurus’*
Me: *puts down 2 large bear traps*
Me: *shoots tranq darts at megalosaurus*
Megalosaurus: Alright Listen here you little sh-
Megalosaurus: *gets trapped in bear trap*
Megalosaurus: SH*T
Megalosaurus: *gets knocked out*
Night Approaches
Other Megalosaurus’: WASSUP
Me: *cowardly hiding*
Megalosaurus: *tames*
LESSSSSS GOOOOOOOOO
Me: NO DON'T HIT IT
My friend: But is a fluffy rock. I'm going to have some pelt-rocks
Me: DON'T DO IT! YOU WILL KILL BOTH OF US!
Him: *hit him with a pickaxe*
Megalosaurus: What in...*fall asleep again
Him: Funny! I will do it again!
Megalosaurus: ALRIGHT YOU JERK! I'M GONNA ERASE YOU FROM EXISTENCE!!!!
Him: OH SHIT, HELP ME!!
Me: *bola him and run away*
At nighttime ark decides to throw away vision and this things eyes glow so if you think you see 2 shooting stars coming closer don’t run home it’ll follow you and use it’s grab ability to get you out it can grab through walls apparently it’s stronger than a Rex at night acording to Dododex so hopefully you have a house made out of stone or stronger or
else you lost it all
Dont ask how I know