The titanoboa found meth

I had to include some more words so among Us

WHY IS THIS THING A PASSIVE TAME I DO NOT WANT THIS TO BE AWAKE WHEN I FEED IT

Oh, hello fellow Ark player…

I think you should pick the “portal” spawn location when You’re playing on aberration. It’s so safe and peaceful! It’s not like a Basilisk wrote this trying to trick people into spawning in the Basilisk den, no no…

Hey Tim!

Hey.

Let’s make a new creature.

Ok?

I like the Titanboa idea, so let’s roll with that. Make the Titanboa huge.

Alright.

Give it the hp of a rex.

Ok.

Make it incredibly fast.

Done.

Make it so it can burrow in the ground so it’s almost invisible and it can’t be attacked.

This seems to be getting a bit out of hand.

Shut up. Now give it the damage of a yuty.

Ummm, ok.

It can only be tamed with the rarest and hardest to get eggs in the game.

This seems to be a little op.

Oh, just you wait. It can smell you when it’s underground.

Why would you do this to our poor players?

I’m not done yet. It shoots balls of poisonous acid.

Uhhhhhh...

Shush. It has triple the weight of a quetz.

Ok...

It will sneak up behind you, and kill you before you understand you are being attacked.

I don’t like the way this is going.

I SAID BE QUIET!

Ok, ok.

I’m done.

Really?

Pft, no. It is armored and directly targets taming creatures. Ok, now I’m done.

What have you done?

Titanaboa: "I'm the biggest snake!!!"

Basilisk"Hold my poison

Real Men tame this using fertilised dodo eggs.

Somebody left open the Chamber of Secrets and this dude went Slitherin on out and found its way to the ARK.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

You have no idea

But it's right behind you...

The roses are wilted

And the violets are dying

You just got eaten

And your tribe mate is crying

I've got the Equus in the back

Shinehorns will attack

Feeding all my bulbdogs

Oh that basilisk is baaack

Im thinking this is great

Running from this snake

Hearing slither slither and I know

Im on his dinner plate! 😂

Lol I was bored...

Me:"I wonder if there are any good tips on dododex for dealing with them"

Everyone on dododex:"bola your friend and run"

Me, playing on single player: °∆°